1.5.22

Even from a brief reading of the latter part of Revelation I am becoming aware of several truths about myself and about the nature of God’s word and my love for Him through it. Having just watched a film (based on a true story) depicting the pagan practices of indigenous South American peoples and an Englishman’s tireless pursuit of knowledge of these people and their history for its own sake, risking life and family over and over in the process, the mist of moral darkness in the eyes of these characters becomes an apparent cataract of blindness against and in contrast to the terrifying and awesome holiness of God. The pursuits we dedicate our lives to, and the ideas that most hold captive our attention are often consistently transient, peripheral to and distracting from their eternal context of God’s holiness and Lordship. The destruction of Babylon, the judgement of the beast, false prophet, and Satan, and the visionary depiction of Jesus and his army sweeping down to judge souls are sobering pictures of a far more real, terrible, and truly unimaginable reality: a reality that awaits each soul in the end. It is a reality that we do not understand. It is a reality that we cannot imagine, not really. Its a reality that is, I believe, meant more to cause us to fear and worship God for how high his ways are above our ways than merely to inform us of what future events will occur and what characters will populate them. And thus, we aim for fulfillment wherever we may find it to bring feelings of righteous or real or worthy substance. We yearn to feel as though we have fulfilled our destiny, be it noble or otherwise. Ironically, we end up wandering about in the the light of our own blindness with no sense that eternity’s point-of-no-return precipice is but a few brief moments removed beyond the façade of our vaporous vanity. Facts, precise facts, and true things are indeed important, but never more so than the object they reveal and the transcendental reality they connect us to. This is especially true of God’s word. Maybe I speak for myself alone in what proceeds, so I will continue in the first person. I often read God’s revelation to myself (as I have read parts of Revelation before) in a similar manner to how my parents used to read bedtime stories to me. I was always looking for something in the story to get excited about or be moved by and I always seemed to experience such feelings. Though I knew they were only stories, I believe they made me feel good in one way or another, because of their association with one who would read them to me – one whom I loved and who loved me. I rarely think of my time reading and meditating on God’s word in literal terms of him speaking to me, but, rather, more in terms of me trying to get some kind of excitement out of it. The problem with this is the same as it would be if I had read myself the bedtime story. I think now of what was so special, fundamentally, about my parents reading to me. The important factor was their presence, their voice, their nearness, and the consequent visceral feeling of safety and peace that attended my spirit in such moments. This is what I have lost, rather, what I lose time and again when I tell myself that the most important thing about reading the Bible is the feelings I get when I read inspiring stories about people who had adventures and displayed great character; when I find passages that contain practical wisdom and explicit commands for joyful, righteous living. I have lost love and desire for and forgotten the fathomless affection of the one dear person who wrote the book for me and gave it to me to remember and know Him by. By it I know what he is like, how he is good, how he is perfect, how he will not abandon me in my perverse rebellion, how he loves me every moment by humiliating himself, laying down his life, shielding me from death, and preserving my life continually, how he gives me more time to see how much he has done and how he desires that I know him as Father, brother, Lord, lover, judge, sovereign, surrogate, conqueror, servant, defender, friend. Please, as you read, do not forget that Jesus gave you that book not as entertainment but as his expression of humble affection for you. Its easy to forget, and it requires a determined self-application to remember, but its perceived worth is far outweighed by the true comfort and hope it affords. The one who has promised good to you will surely do it. He will surely follow you and lead you all the days of your life and you will dwell in his house forever. “…but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Roman 5:8. “…but these are written so that you may believe the Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.” John 20:22